STAND BY ME: CHEAH WUI LING AND NG PEI YI ON FRIENDSHIPS IN THE LAW
Having satisfying and fulfilling relationships can boost our physical and emotional wellbeing. We ask good pals Associate Professor Cheah Wui Ling and in-house counsel at Visa Ng Pei Yi how they keep themselves happy and balanced through life's ups and downs.
Associate Professor Cheah Wui Ling (left) and Ms Ng Pei Yi (right)
BY FOO KIM LENG
HAVE A GOOD SUPPORT SYSTEM
“Making and keeping friends from all walks of life is a skill that is underrated and we don’t put enough value on it…being there for each other and learning from each other’s experiences will help you cushion the blows of life,” says Associate Professor Cheah Wui Ling.
Wui Ling has known the importance of having a strong network of support since she was young. At 15, she came to Singapore from Penang on an ASEAN scholarship. “I lived in hostels in shared rooms with other international students. I was very fortunate as I got to know several inspirational teachers and lecturers who not only took on mentorship roles but opened their homes and lives to me. I also made many life-long friends throughout my years of schooling, some who later served as bond guarantors and made my further education possible.”
Today, she lectures at NUS Law and conducts research in the core disciplines of international and comparative criminal law, transitional justice, and human rights. She speaks of her recent promotion with tenure at NUS Law as a long journey of ups and downs. “You need to develop an open but also resilient attitude towards criticism and challenges as your work is subject to peer review constantly and research projects take time to plan and come to fruition. I have been very fortunate to have had the support and encouragement of several senior colleagues and a trusted peer group throughout this process.
“The nature of academia is such that you will get very straightforward and critical comments when your research goes through the peer review process. This has taught me how to accept feedback and gain energy from it. It also helps a lot to have friends who you can discuss your concerns with. One person that Wui Ling constantly reaches out to is Pei Yi. “Every time I go through something difficult, I will call her or tell her on WhatsApp.”
BE KIND
Ng Pei Yi, Director, Employee Relations and Employment Counsel at Visa lives by the adage, “Be kind to yourself and others”. “We celebrate a lot of accomplishments and achievements; like people seem to be able to have everything. But I think we don’t talk enough about the disappointments and low lights as everyone is truly fighting their own battles.”
While Wui Ling has learnt to develop a thick skin to feedback, some of the harsh comments that she has received have also made her sensitive to the feelings of others. “So when I give comments to other people, even when it is anonymous through peer review, I try to be constructive, professional and kind. You don’t know what’s happening in the other person’s life. You don’t know if someone is going through a rough patch and how he or she may interpret your words. That said, being kind does takes energy and time so this is another reason to not let yourself get too ‘busy’ and stressed.”
LOVING YOUR JOB AND FINDING MEANING IN IT
Both Wui Ling and Pei Yi’s work keep them busy but more importantly, fulfilled. For Pei Yi, this stems from the fact that more often than not, she finds herself acting more than just a legal counsel. “Many times, a lot of the issues I handle are multifaceted and it’s not something that can be resolved with a simple solution. It allows me to really make an impact on the lives of employees in a very direct way, and learn about human nature, myself and the world around me,” she explains.
Wui Ling agrees that there can be pleasure in hard work and seeing progress in her daily grind. “I am very curious and dogged by nature, and this drives my love for research and writing. It is hard work though, and one has to power through most times, especially at the pre-tenure stage. Now that I am tenured, I have a bit more autonomy over my research and teaching."
DON’T OVERSTRETCH YOURSELF
“This means we have to say no to offers that are interesting, but which may overstretch us,” says Wui Ling. “It requires constantly revisiting one’s larger goals and priorities, which is important as you don’t want to be doing something just because everyone else is doing it or because it was someone else’s idea. I try to apply this approach to all areas of my life.”
“A misconception that people may have about in-house is that we work very little, or it is an ‘easier job’ than practice,” says Pei Yi. “It’s a different set of demands and challenges and I try to remind myself to be gentle with myself, and that I’m merely a steward.” And it is okay to fail, she adds. “I am not sure if I juggle successfully. Many times in a week, it feels like I’ve dropped the balls multiple times!”
WIDEN YOUR INTEREST CIRCLES
“I try to maintain a multi-dimensional self apart from my professional life,” says Wui Ling. “I try to be a good friend and neighbour. I dance and perform with Spanish Dance Singapore, and I also enjoy crafting, especially making amigurumi. Very often, I end up doing many of these activities in the early hours of the morning or late at night, outside working hours and when my son is asleep!”
A bigger ‘ECA’ project involves the setting up of the War Crimes Portal with her good friend Pei Yi. The project has grown into a collective endeavour and is run by a core team of committed volunteers, including research fellow Lim Jia Yi and illustrator Anna Onni. “When working on research about the war crime trials, I was surprised that so few within and outside the academia knew about this important historical endeavour in Singapore. I believe that research should benefit the broader public and wanted to make the information on these trials more accessible. I was also excited to work with Pei Yi as co-creator of this project,” says Wui Ling.
“The work is important in filling a gap in our legal heritage, the Singapore Story. We were not a sleepy fishing village back then. We were sufficiently sophisticated to be the hub for WWII war crimes prosecution,” adds Pei Yi. “It’s a very heartening feeling to come together with friends and build something from scratch, try new things and test our ideas through trial and error. It’s also a great way to be connected to people and communities outside of the legal circle. We’ve met with folks from the art scene, the heritage community, and learning from them and about their projects never ceases to amaze and enrich me.”
Wui Ling agrees that these projects outside her usual work add more colour and meaning to her life. “I have met some really interesting people with diverse backgrounds through dance and craft, and also through my son’s school in our neighbourhood. Taking the time to learn about their lives and experiences truly inspires me."
PASSION POSSIBLE: Besides their shared love for history, both women also dabble in the arts. Wui Ling performs with Spanish Dance Singapore (above), while Pei Yi is a hobbyist painter whose works have been featured in the War Crimes Portal (featured below are some of her other creations).
NOURISH YOURSELF AND THOSE AROUND YOU
“I try to appreciate every chance and every moment I have here with my loved ones, family and friends, and the chance to do work or act in a way that positively impacts the lives of others. Things may unexpectedly change in life any day. Living in the present is important,” says Wui Ling.
To juggle their many responsibilities, both Wui Ling and Pei Yi agree that keeping things simple and efficient is a great help.
Preferring not to rely on live-in domestic help, Wui Ling and her husband share household chores and the looking after of Tony, their four-year son. “We are quite simple when it comes to food. We usually try to be efficient by having the same dish every day of the week. So Monday is always this, Tuesday is always this and it’s usually something like pasta or fried rice – one-pot meals that don’t take long to prepare. We also chose to put Tony at preschool opposite our home. I highly recommend going to school nearby. It is convenient and we have made friends with many families in the neighbourhood.”
“I like routine and certainty,” says Pei Yi. “I think doing this role throws me off at times because it is so different from just law. I try to keep that balance by sticking to a very clear routine. I journal weekly, meditate daily and try to exercise daily even if it’s just walking around the estate for 30 minutes.” A hobbyist painter, some of her paintings are featured on the War Crimes Portal. “These key practices in my routine help me catch my breath, find my balance and fill myself up so that I can give to people around me.”
This is the first in a series of articles and videos that shed light on wellbeing. Everybody has a different definition of the term and by sharing what it means to SAL members, we hope that you, too, will be inspired to prioritise your own wellness.
